HOW TO FACE-PLANT AND BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.
Or: I think I broke my mind and I like it
Hear me out:
*So, you hail from one or more God(s), (or something else)
*and your primary task is to find, synchronise with and become that God. (for the purpose of strengthening that God and developing the integrity of that God)(or something else)
*and no God will be uninvolved in the course of his "product"?
But Not as an action of sentimental care but as an insurance of "pay-out", so to speak?
*and even developing your consciousness to the status of mage, will increase your freedom of movement so to speak, and gain you access to processes and abilities that “muggles” don't have,
*you'd still be a product of your god(s), just not as tightly “herded” by the program you initially ran on, right? You'll just be "in on the game-plan" and have a vote regarding how best to fulfil that game-plan?
*Again, not because you deserve a gold star on your forehead but as a
by-product, a natural result of cause and effect for achieving synchronisation with your god(s) consciousness. Yes?
*And if the understanding of the fact that you're not a special little princess and not the object of the gods' affection & adoration, doesn't send you into a tornado of self pity, a state of self-victimisation and complete “abort mission” inertia,
*aaaaaand, in a moment of “apple-island” comprehension, you see that, it's all just business, then you’ll be able to put aside the face-smack shock and horror of a somewhat childhood-abandonment-esque realisation and get to work.
*Also, as a mage (including other levels of consciousnesses on the path of magical development), you understand that when we speak of freedom, we're not referring to “freedom from inclusion” but freedom to move “unherded” within that inclusion, because there’s no way not to be included in something or some...god. And That, is something I need to marinade in to tenderise my resistance to control and limitation set by a tradition or culture. I can feel my limited understanding in this regard. I definitely need to and will do more studying on the matter of “freedom” through Master Ksenia’s videos. Please do share links about this topic if you have them on hand. Otherwise, as per usual, I will apply the tried and tested method of, “dig and you shall, get dirty, ruin your nails and your pants, and also, find”.
*Then, with all that, also understanding that whatever results you achieve will still and always be for the development of your god(s) and ultimately for the development of the One-mind. If then, the “herding” of a person, is to insure the achievement of the bare minimum required results, then the “unherded” consciousness (for example - mage) has a broader playing field to achieve not only the required bare minimum but many life-times worth more in one life-time. Tak? Hetak?
Do we inaccurately translate the fact that when the gods (through whatever forces) offer us protection that it must mean they sentimentally care for us and that we’re obviously super special and irreplaceable?
Or, is protecting someone perhaps another method of insuring the achievement of results with the intention of avoiding unnecessary interferences and delays. Just as the lack of protection or shielding can also act as an equal effective method for achieving the required results and avoiding unnecessary delays. Both methods can be true and in effect simultaneously for and in one person.
Do we fall into the trap of inaccurately translating inclusion as "hallmark-channel-like-love"? Believing that "if someone includes me, it must mean that they sentimentally care for me". Or can the same conclusion, so to speak, be made as was made regarding “protection”?.
Example: You put the tip of our finger into hot food (to experience its development), and maybe you burn your finger and a blister forms as a result:
The individual cells in the fingertip, each with its own form and function, experienced pain, damages and perhaps even destruction, but the rest of the body did not and perceives this damage as temporary and insignificant. However, you gained the necessary information about the food and now benefit from that experience, without having needed to put your entire body in the hot food to have gained and integrated said information.
You do not think about the unkindness you dealt to the individual cells in the fingertip, because you view the fingertip as part of yourself and not as separate cells. The fingertip is included in the cognisance of the one body. According to your overall experience you are sill fine, still alive but now, wiser and more skilled than you were before the event.
Perhaps this too partly reflects our relationships and functions we have with the gods?
Granted, having such ideas and insights revealing itself to you can be absolutely reality destroying and yes, as master Ksenia has mentioned, very very...very... painful. To understand your worthlessness (this is where I noticed I was holding my breath – if this is true for you too – this is your reminder to breathe. Now. Do it! Good. Moving on)
But then another interesting plot twist and mind tickler:
“worthless but not pointless”
Many times I’ve heard Master Ksenia talk about the illusions we should rid ourselves of, regarding our purpose, our relationships with the gods, how they view us, how we view them and more – and – logically a person receives such information, agrees that it makes sense and then puts it on a shelf to be unpacked later because your special little self cannot fully accept what that would actually mean for you.
When in fact that information should as soon as possible become the very foundation you build your life and magical development on. (And if I’m not mistaken, my good Master Ksenia may have advised that too.)
Because if you don’t, you run the risk of it eventually unpacking itself and bringing your entire house of cards to the snot and tears covered ground.
Isn’t it funny how someone tries to teach you and spends years repeating and repeating and repeating and finding multidimensional methods to repeat even more, to help you “get it” because you keep asking the same question from the level you’re able to question and understand, until someday, it clicks and you talk about it as if you had this fat aha-moment by yourself when there, by your side, is a teacher who sacrificed her entire life to not only get this knowledge out there but endlessly tries to make sure it gets understood correctly? I’m doing that right now, aren’t I? Well shit.
I hope in that case Master Ksenia gets to read these words, and take them as a “heartfelt thank you” and as an “I think I get it a little bit more now”
Having said that, everything I’ve mentioned above might just be so gobsmackingly inaccurate and warped due to the limitations, misperceptions and misconceptions of my consciousness - and if that is the case, then Master Ksenia...please...
Will you please repeat that again (laughing embarrassingly).
I promise I’m making progress and I promise that I will never give up.
xxx J xxx
