OK while I was still looking for reasons not to take psychedelic substances, more specifically 'shrooms, I decided to take shrooms a few days ago and I actually think that I won't be taking them again. It becomes clear why further down.
This time the journey was very very different. Journeys with mother Soma usually has a pattern but this time the pattern broke and Mother Soma didn't feel present in her usual way. (if at all)
Like always, before my journey, I set my intentions and asked my questions. The entrance into the journey with colours and shapes normally has some kind of theme and an animal spirit that I enter through. This time, no animal spirit, no theme just some random shapes, colours, more eyes than usual and way more sharp teeth than before (this time I had no fear of any of it). Accompanied with incredible restlessness. Eventually I settled but then I started talking and talking and talking... Voicing thoughts, ideas, epiphanies,
difficult truths about myself, countless confirmations of Master Ksenia's teachings and the revelation of the mathematical algorithmic nature of the system. I won't go into further details of the journey because that's not what this post is about.
When it started to wind down, a thought-voice said, "now understand this - It is important that you still play the game... One runs the risk of inertia when you understand the way things are. Do not trust this information to be all there is, do not think you understand everything there is. The information you receive can only be understood and accepted to the degree that your consciousness can process it... it will process it according to the structure and content of your system - although you correctly understood many things - due to the fact that you've developed your consciousness to a new level of perception prior to the journey - there will be many, many things that may incorrectly inform your consciousness, due to distortions, damages, limitations, debt and so on, that are still present in your consciousness."
I struggled to sleep and the next day I was sicker than usual on the day after a journey with a headache that literally bent me over every time I moved. No matter what I ate or what acupressure or what meditation I did, nothing released me.
I was fed-up by the end of the day and demanded it to stop when a hot wave came over me and Again the thought-voice answered... "Understand this. Shrooms like any plant spirit is a force and for any exchange with a force, in this case the information you received, payment must be made and you neglected to negotiate payment before interaction."
But of course, I knew that, yet somehow the law slipped my mind. I had to endure. I had no choice.
The other thing that came to mind was something like Master Ksenia's mentioned before: a responsible person on the path of magical development will be in control of the interaction with any force, she will know why, with whom, for what, for how long and for what payment. When interacting with the Shroom force or any other psychedelic substance force, you give up your control of how much, what kind and for how long the interaction is.
Yes sure a journey is anything from 4 to 6 hours and one knows this before you decide to take it
but what if what you needed or was able to process already happened in the first 30min? Now you're stuck until its done with you. I had many things confirmed during the journey, wonderful to experience but they were originally things that were revealed to me through my connection with my gods, nature and Ksenia's teachings, outside of a journey setting, naturally and as a result of the work I've done. In some way it felt like a waste of time - Time I now had to pay for.
A very interesting and new after-journey-effect occurred: I wanted nothing to do with artificial energy - No man made light, no clothes, no machine / appliance sounds, I didn't want my phone near me, I wanted to be in the night in the forest but I couldn't, not where I live, not with how my life is currently structured. I was stuck and all I could do is sit in the dark and try to sleep until the pain and desire to wild-out (which I really wanted to do) stopped.
So, closing: my interactions with Soma has given me many gifts over the years and has opened my mind in many ways.
But it seems to become counter productive the more one progresses on the magical path. The price for the exchange seems to become too high for what you get, especially when you get things you already got outside of the journey space.
The more you develop on the magical path, the more you understand that you have a massive responsibility for correctly interacting with energy and information, with magic.
Granted, these insights regarding why one should avoid taking psychedelic substances may be completely different from what master Ksenia might advise (which I still would love to know) but perhaps it gets the hamster wheels turning for the rest of my colleagues too.
